Women of St. James UMC

40 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married

Posted by Cindy Downes on August 4, 2007

© Copyright by Joe McGee, Joe McGee Ministries

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. For the scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days. Keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.” (I Peter 3:8-12 NLT)

  • Great relationships are no accident.
  • If work is taking my best energy, my marriage will suffer.
  • The greatest gift I can give my spouse is my own happiness.
  • It is possible to hate and love someone at the same time.The only rules in marriage are the ones you both agree on.
  • It’s not what you have, it’s what you do with it that counts.
  • Conflict does not destroy a marriage, but the avoidance of it causes resentment.
  • Every marriage has seasons–there can be some hard winters.
  • My primary relationship is with my spouse, not my kids.
  • It is never too late to repair damaged trust.
  • Secrets are lies.
  • Sex can improve with age.
  • If you can’t be happy without your spouse, you probably can’t be happy with them.
  • Getting help when you can’t work things out is a sign of intelligence, not weakness.
  • One person, no matter how much you love them, cannot meet all of your emotional needs.
  • The real issue is usually not what you are arguing about.
  • Love is not a feeling; it’s an action.
  • Arguments cannot be avoided in marriage, but destructive ones can.
  • Even people with great marriages sometimes wonder if they married the wrong person.
  • My opinion is not necessarily the truth.
  • Vacations are necessities, not luxuries.
  • Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy.
  • Guilt-tripping never gets you what you want.
  • What you judge in your spouse is a reflection of what you judge in yourself. It takes one to know one.
  • A lack of vision will destroy even the most loving of marriages.
  • My spouse is both my teacher and my student.
  • If my spouse is defensive, I’m probably giving them a reason to be.
  • The cheap thrill you get by putting down your spouse isn’t cheap.
  • Good sex doesn’t make a marriage great, but it sure helps.
  • Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love.
  • Don’t say anything about your spouse that you’re not willing to say to them.
  • If your spouse thinks something is important, it is.
  • Marriages never outgrow the need for romance.
  • There’s a difference between sex and romance.
  • Nothing deadens sexual desire more than unresolved anger.
  • Don’t yell at your spouse unless the house is on fire.
  • The silent treatment was invented by a kindergartner.
  • A quick phone call when you are going to be late can prevent an explosion.
  • It’s okay to read a book on improving your marriage.
  • Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to yourself.

Yours for the souls of families,
Joe McGee


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